Eaux sauvages - Paul W. Kener - 1978

[Basculo Cui Cui]

L’histoire est basique puisque Eaux Sauvages se veut un pionnier du genre « slasher », ces films dans lesquels une bande de fringants jeunes gens se fait joyeusement décimer par un tueur psychopathe. Généralement, ce sont des étudiants, parfois des campeurs. Ici on charcute des gus partis faire une expédition en rafting dans le Grand Canyon.

 

 

la chronique ici :

http://www.nanarland.com/Chroniques/Main.php?id_film=eauxsauvages

 

ECOUTEZ D URGENCE DANS ILS L ONT DIT :"UN DIALOGUE A RENDRE FOU"

eh bien le film contient des dialogues de ce genre TOUT LE LONG !!!!!

 

 

vu la bete samedi avec Pp et ca detruit tout

 

c'est le neant absolu total et ATTENTION !!!!! si vous avez un grand ecran CA FUSILLE LES YEUX !!!!!!!!

 

bref IL LE FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO !!!!!

 

une experience iounique

Modifié le 18 février 2007 par Invité

[Fabrice]

Les autostoppeurs et le karma ?

 

Le fichier son a déjà fait le tour de mon bureau !

 

Il foooooooooooodrait que je voie le film du coup ...

[Basculo Cui Cui]

As exciting as spending a night in a padded cell., 21 January 2005

1/10

Author: Rare-slashers-rated from United Kingdom

 

Of all of cinema's B-movie genres, there's certainly no doubt that the slasher cycle has the largest percentage of virtually impossible to locate titles. Movies like Houseboat Horror, Sledgehammer, 555, Streets of Death, New York Calendar Girl Massacre and Savage Vows have become so impossibly obscure that tracking them down has become a serious hobby to fans of the category like myself. It's amongst those rarities that you'll find Paul Kener's Savage Water; a movie so far down the pecking order that it failed to even get released in its country of origin. I came across it in a small video exchange shop whilst on a day trip to Devon with the missus. When I asked the storekeeper if it was worth watching, he told me that I was one of the only people that had ever paid any attention to it. In fact, he went as far as to say that it had been left on the shelf since the shop first opened in the late eighties! They say that when a movie completely disappears, it's never without a damn good reason. But to be fair, titles like Terror Night, Satan's Altar, Too Beautiful to Die and Bruno Mattei's terrific Eyes without a Face have certainly raised a strong enough case for the defence to that age old fallacy.

 

A group of holidaymakers have booked themselves a dream trip with the Wild West White Water River Boat Company. Their journey will take them along the great Colorado so they can experience first hand the beauty of the Grand Canyon and the ferocity of the water crashing over the rapids. Once they are well away from civilisation, things take a turn for the worse as it's realised that someone on board has their own reason for wanting to be stranded in the Canyon without interference from the authorities. Before long, the group begin getting bumped off one by one by an unseen maniac with a hunting knife and a murderous agenda. It seems that the killer wants to turn the mighty Colorado into a river of blood…

 

If Terror Night acts as the defence for slasher obscurities that don't deserve to disappear, then Savage Water is as guilty as a suicidal convict begging to be frazzled in the electric chair. A truly wretched hive of scum and villainy, this one is as soggy as the Life jackets worn by the boaters of the feature. I should've known that I was in for a stinker as soon as I heard the Country twanged theme tune over the opening credits, which was so awful that it almost took my mind off the horrendously shaky work of the cameraman as he panned the cliffs of the canyon. When I was finally introduced to the cast of nincompoop boaters, I realised that I was heading for a shocking 105 minutes of unforgivable bile.

 

The pick of the gang of brain-dead river rats include an elderly pair of (ahem) 'Germans', whose accents travel across the Atlantic more times in 105 minutes than Easy Jet does in a year. Then you have a dodgy psychiatrist who fancies 'pushing his mind into the boundaries of insanity' and looks like he still digs the era of The Monkees. I can't forget to mention the bubbly blonde who looks so much like Deborah Harry circa 'Heart of Glass' that I kept expecting her to drop the oar and kick off a musical rendition. Although it was unfortunate that such a moment never came, she was at least responsible for by far the best of the films laugh out loud bad movie blunders. Whilst sharing a drink with an Arabic businessman that was along for the ride, the saucy starlet gave him an unexpected kiss. All of a sudden he jumped up like a bare footed basketball player on a vat of hot ashes and gaffed, "You kissed me, you kissed me, they told me it would happen but not so soon!" "My cousin told me that American woman would do it – will you marry me?" To add to the hilarity of his bemusing reaction was the fact that this guy was about thirty-eight years old!

 

There's really no reason for anyone to want to see Savage Water. It's overlong, boring and filled with heinous acting and pathetic dialogue. The Screenwriter seemed to believe that film fans would be interested in watching a ten-minute example of how to put on a life jacket, or a dozen or so lectures on the dangers of eating wild plant life. You'd probably get about as much enjoyment out of watching a plank of wood float down your local river as you would viewing this mind numbingly tedious excuse for a movie. In fact, I'd go as far as to say that the lump of timber would probably give a much more convincing performance. There's no gore, nudity or even anything remotely interesting. It just makes you wonder how director Paul W. Kener actually felt about his creation when he watched it back after the shoot? Let's just be thankful that he gave up on the idea of a career in the movies. Avoid this one folks…

[meltingman]

VHS en vente chez Norbert Moutier..... 80€

 

 

"Ah ben oui mais ça c'est très recherché" dixit notre brave NG Mount

[Commissaire Tanzi]

Je l'ai, on se fera une petite projo...

[Basculo Cui Cui]

tu l'a wendigo dr ?

[Commissaire Tanzi]

nope, ça j'ai pas

[Basculo Cui Cui]

[Cyril]

[Fabrice]

Vu, ça m'a coûté probablement 15 à 20% de mes capacités cérébrales.

 

C'est du début à la fin, il n'y a aucune action, il ne se passe rien.

 

MAIS, tout est dans le doublage totalement psychotronique. Totale impro des "comédiens", qui inventent le texte au fur et à mesure, au mépris du rythme et de la synchro.

 

En plus y'a un cheikh Mamoud qui boit du Bailey's, un couple allemand, un cours d'enfilage de gilet de sauvetage, des superbes scènes nocturnes bleutées, des serpents à sonette dans des sacs de couchage, un mec qui se fait pousser dans l'eau, une scène de cul avec une fille qui jouit 3 minutes après que le gars ait fini de lui monter dessus, de la philosophie hindoue, j'en passe et des meilleures.

 

Attention il faut quand même être très résistant, je pense que le visionnage de cette chose peut causer des dommages irréversibles à des organismes fragiles.

 

 

Merci à Peter de m'avoir filé l'équivalent US de la cassette maudite de Ring !

[Léo]

bon maintenant il te faut Wendigo ! c'est 100 fois pire !

[Fabrice]

je sais pas si je pourrai survivre !

[Basculo Cui Cui]

tu l'aura

 

 

 

2 extraits :

 

 

 

 

[Creepers]

Un moment je croyais que l'extrait sur le karma était un passage isolé du film mais j'ai enfin compris durant la nuit excentrique qu'en fait c'était toujours comme ça

 

"mais bordel pourtant c'était pas dure de grimper cette montagne"

[Guillaume Tell]

2 extraits :

 

 

 

 

 

Effectivement impressionnant, merci pour le lien

[Nick Eetah]

VHS en vente chez Norbert Moutier..... 80€

 

 

"Ah ben oui mais ça c'est très recherché" dixit notre brave NG Mount

 

Putain, va falloir qu'on arrête de chroniquer des raretés, à nanarland, ça donne de la notoriété aux films et ça encourage la spéculation ! (parce que je ne vois pas qui d'autre que nanarland en a parlé)

 

Il a intérêt à ne jamais vendre le film, sinon l'acheteur reviendra lui casser les jambes !

[Basculo Cui Cui]

coming soon at lezob's

[NickLezob]

ah j'allais te le demander celui la en plus

[Fabrice]

Attention quand même, des gens sont morts d'avoir vu ce film.

[NickLezob]

J'adore le cheik Mahmoud

-Mais jamais une femme ne vous a touché, pas même la main?

-Nan j'ai pas de soeur

 

Buralo a tout dit, ce truc est dangereux pour la santé mentale du spectateur, mais bon, un film ou il ne se passe strictement rien mais ou on se fait pas chier c'est quand même super fort.

[Basculo Cui Cui]

RLnCHKCcy9k

 

EjamuTbC89o

 

[Basculo Cui Cui]

http://www.allocine.fr/video/emissions/nanarland/episode/?cmedia=19225581

[kevo42]

Un des plus grand films de tous les temps.

[Lord Ruthven]

un film qui apprend à faire les noeuds carrés ne peut pas être mauvais.

[Kerozene]

ah ouais putain c'est du lourd....

alors ok, les dialogues azimutés rédigés par de vieux babzouilles souffrant de remontées de LSD, c'est marrant 30 minutes, mais au bout d'un moment j'en pouvais plus... ils sont tous tellement cons, ça en devient fatiguant.... à voir de préférence avec des amateurs de bandes nazes et des bonnes bières, mais seul, c'est limite de la torture